The Ellen Brain Bar (DIY Energy Bars)

  If you were to rewind about 6 months ago, you'd find a very cold and nervous Ellen standing outside the front door of a coffeeshop at 6:15 on a Sunday morning in the middle of a snowstorm.  After slipping and sliding my car to the side streets to park, I remember trudging through snow-drifted sidewalks and not being able to remember where the back door to the cafe was.  It was my first day on the job.  I finally had a job, and I couldn't find the dang door.  I had to go in there and make people coffee.  I had to learn how to write all the drinks shorthand.  I had to learn how to really wrap a wrap for, like, another person.

Dairy-Free Double Chocolate Banana Cake

  "What are your academic interests?"

  "Career field you could see yourself in?"

  "Have a major lined up by the end of sophomore year."

  "Oh, Journalism, you must really love writing and the news."

  "When are you opening your own bakery?"

  "What's your passion?"

  "What makes you happy?"

  I wiped off my palms for the 10th time as my well-meaning temporary advisor guided me through the sign-up process.  The entire day was devoted to getting transfers acclimated, and all around me I felt the vibe of uncertainty pulsing as we all tried to navigate our way around a new system.  Every time I turned a corner in the Union, I felt more than saw the memory ghosts intent upon making the day harder than it already had it to be.  My hands shook and I dropped a lot of things.  I came out with too many papers and enough anxiety to fill a five-gallon bucket.

Pink Lemonade Crinkle Cookies

  It's June.  The months have been flying before my eyes these days, bookmarked by the occasional little blurb of a blog post.  I've had far too many people coming and going from my life lately.  I'm learning the ins and outs of latte art.  I'm working through a massive spring head cold.

Mint Chocolate Chip Meringues

  I think some of my earliest memories of pine needles come from the little fir grove on my grandparent's farm.  That grove used to seem huge to me.  The tall, curiously cloaked trees constantly dropping pine cones and covering the ground with their sleek leaves.  The shag carpet effect those dying needles created mesmerized me.  The way the light filtered through those trees was different, but I remember loving it.  It was always pretty there, no matter the time of year.

  While that grove was often my go to, other places on the farm also grabbed me.  The raspberry bushes, sunflowers, hammock, the back field where you could see all the land rolling out perfectly beneath you.  Living on a hilltop is not something to take for granted.

Project

  It's been an age since I posted just for the sake of posting.  I've been stressing myself out, week after week, to just bake/cook something so I could have an excuse to write.  I'm kind of realizing how silly that is, how it causes me to lose sight of the fact that I actually started this blog because I truly enjoy being in the kitchen.

  Truth is, I'm just busy.  But it's not just busy, because really, we're all busy.  It's also that I don't feel like organizing my busy-ness.  I don't want to prioritize.  Something about writing that out makes me feel 10x lazier than I know I really am.